When you have a good relationship with your best friend, there is a chance that you will start to have other feelings for that person after a while. You start to like him/her very much and you notice that you behave differently when you are together. Falling in love with your best friend is common. What can you do best in such a situation?
What begins with a friendship…
You can spontaneously fall in love with someone you see for the first time or just know, but it often happens that a crushing only starts to play after a while. This can occur with your best friend or girlfriend. You know him or her from school, work, the group of friends or sports and build up a special bond with him or her. You have in-depth conversations, can laugh and cry, share the greatest secrets with each other and you talk together to do fun things.
Changes in love
At some point you notice that you are starting to like your best friend more and more and suddenly you realize that you are in love with your best friend. This is reflected in different things. For example, you notice that you are embarrassed in his or her presence when you say something stupid or if you do something awkward. When you’ve seen him/her, you think of him/her at home. You would prefer to see your friend as soon as possible. You get jitters in your stomach when you are looked at by your friend and make more effort than usual when you see them. You are just a little longer in the shower and in front of the mirror and put on your best clothes.
Why is it so hard?
The bond you have built with your best friend is a valuable friendship. You don’t want to risk this friendship by asking for something that might not be there at all. You do not dare to ask your friend about the feelings for you and you therefore do not take any steps to at least maintain the friendship. However, the infatuity is getting bigger and bigger and it becomes increasingly difficult to deal with your best friend in a normal way. In addition, the longer you wait with taking steps the more likely your friend will fall in love with someone else. Then you may never know if the feelings you have were mutual. You will always wonder what would have happened if you had taken the step.
What you should do
It’s a tricky situation, but it’s best to tell your best friend about your feelings to gauge his or her feelings. You can try flirting with your friend. Touch him or her more often and longer, make more eye contact and compliment more often. Show that you find him or her special by spending more time together and being ready for your friend. During those moments, use it to look deep into your best friend and let them know that you have freed time especially for him / her time. For example, if you talk about relationships or love, try to see how your friend reacts. For example, you can ask who he/she likes the most (from school, from work, etc.). If your name is mentioned, you can play on it. Isn’t your name mentioned, can you say: and just skip me? Depending on the reaction, you can ask your friend to do something fun together. Try to keep it light, suggest him/her to go to the movies, grab a terrace or take a walk. This way you can always go a step further by asking for a date or asking how he or she looks at more than a friendship. For example, you can ask if he/she has ever thought about what it would be like if you had a relationship.
Do nothing and wait
It is very difficult to take the first step. This is not easy anyway, but not at all with someone you have known for a long time and with whom you have built a nice bond. When you address someone you don’t know or hardly know and you are rejected, this is less bad. You’re not losing so much. When the feelings you are out to be mutual to your best friend, you run the risk of losing your friendship or continuing the friendship in a forced way. You remain friends because you both feel more or less obligated to maintain the friendship, but eventually you run the risk that the friendship will eventually water down because the friendship is different from before.
Give each other space to process the feelings. At least keep talking and maybe the friendship can be saved. Still, you have clarity. At least you know if the feelings you have for a very special person (otherwise it wouldn’t be your best friend) reciprocal or not. Try nothing, you will always be left with the question. In addition, the friendship will not be the same as it was. After all, you have to restrain yourself, share less with your friend because you are afraid that you will fall in love even more and you will have trouble when your friend (in) gets to know other people she falls in love with or can fall. If you make your feelings clear and the feelings are mutual, it has been worth the risk. You can then work on a relationship with someone you know through and through and with whom you can always be yourself, someone you can laugh with and cry and someone who is always there for you. If that’s not a good basis…