You may think that communicating has nothing to do with mastering certain communication and conversation techniques that you can develop and improve. You either have it or you don’t. We can all talk a little, right? Why does one get so much m r than the other? Some seem to be doing better in every way. It is not always the ability to communicate effectively be considered as one of the main reasons for this. Other traits to achieve success seem more decisive, such as having perseverance, determination and willpower. Nothing is less true. An effective way of communicating brings us miles in every way.
What is so important to be able to communicate effectively?
Everything in our lives depends on communication. The most important things, such as your relationships and your work (revenues) are largely determined by the way you communicate. Communication is supposedly in line with your quality of life. If you have problems in relational circles or things are difficult at work and you want to increase your quality of life, it is extremely important to be able to communicate effectively.
Communicating is more than just exchanging information with each other. It is still about understanding each other’s emotions and intentions, or the deeper layer of communication. Communication is through two-way traffic. It is just as important to be able to convey a message clearly to the other through the right techniques and body posture, as it is to understand for yourself that that message has come across, as you intended.
When you are able to communicate effectively, you will find that in many areas you will make great leaps forward. For example, your relationships will deepen and improve your connections. You can also work better together in a team, solve problems at a higher level and generally make better decisions. When communication, on the other hand, it is difficult, for example, that can be a sign that you do not dare to stand up for yourself, that you have unspoken expectations and you cannot simply say what you mean, but continue to run around it.
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Communicating is m r than talking
Communicating is not only verbally, but especially non-verbal. We communicate more often without words than mt words. We all use an interaction between eye contact, voice, facial expression, body posture, muscle tension and other gestures while we talk.
The words we pronounce only 7% of our communication with others, the tone that one sets is more important. One’s intonation or voice and the way waarophe talks determines 23% of our way of communicating. The non-verbal aspect is undeniably the most important and determines the communication for about 70%.
For example, whether or not it makes eye contact, whether or not it smiles at the other person or with the arms sitting over each other will be more meaning than the words and sounds that one (alterally) produces. The body posture of the communication partner gives signals, triggers, as it were, that are internalized in the other. This automatically evokes emotions and thoughts, from which a judgment or conclusion will be drawn about the mutual understanding. Thus a man who is silent, but with his body posture will be understood, but with his body position that he is sad.
Communicating with or without purpose
The common thread through communication is always the question: how do you ensure that you are understood? And what behavior do you ultimately want to call on your audience? This requires mastering skills that teach you the likelihood of making this happening as high as possible. So communicating always has a purpose.
Of course we also know how to communicate without unambiguous purpose, such as pleasant and / or superficial conversations with a friend. However, if you continue to do so, you can say that this can also be a goal: not wanting to have deep, important and/or weighty conversations.
Communicating ‘without purpose’ is nothing wrong and will not be perceived as disturbing by most unless you intend to achieve something. In that case, you will not know where you come from, it will evoke frustrations. This is often the case in work-related situations, where for most it is understandable that you need to know what you are working on and for and for what concrete goals and expectations are left and again.
Also in relational atmosphere you will of course have to deal with numerous goals and obligations. These can be very concrete things, such as making an appointment, but also more abstract, such as finding out how someone is doing. In whatever context communication takes place, it is always about you want to achieve something with the other.
Attention and attention
Attention is the key word in communication. You can only communicate effectively when you are attentive to your communication partner. Do you know what you want to achieve and what the other person wants or wants to say? Do you understand each other (without saying anything)? Study the other person to be able to read and hear signals and understand the other. This is necessary because the non-verbal aspect of communication as mentioned above. Keep your eyes and ears open.
The most important communication techniques
To show assing orities
The main reason we communicate is because we want something to happen. With or without words, we want to convey a certain message. Sometimes you will find that you do not achieve what you would like, because you are too far overrun by the other. You let go of your own agenda too easily and make room for what the other wants. You are not steadfast enough in your goal. Or you just don’t have clear to yourself what you want to achieve. The conversation can flutter in all directions without the desired result.
Showing asser oreness as you communicate ensures that others take you and your points of view seriously. This requires the impart of expressing a message with confidence. It also means that you are persistent in what you want to achieve and that you dare to insist on what you want to achieve. It is sometimes necessary to put aside your modesty and humility, while communicating with someone, while being very valuable qualities, a little more. Depending on what is at stake and to what extent you are asked to.
Show authenticity
A good conversation is best when you can be yourself as much as possible and be as honest as possible to yourself. Of course, we are dealing with certain roles in our daily existence that require a certain attitude, so that we will behave differently in a business sphere than at home.
Too often, however, we behave cautiously. We do our best to come across as politely as possible, to not offend anyone and to make the conversation as pleasant as possible. But how does this match your values and feelings? Are you genuine in your communication or do you say it n, but do you mean anything else? This is based on a great degree of conditioning. We have all been raised in a certain way and have learned rules of conduct that determine how we behave towards others throughout our lives.
If you are not authentic in your communication, others will notice. You radiate it and it’s audible. This not only causes others to take you less seriously, but it also leaves you with an unfulfilled feeling. Communicating as close as possible to you will make you feel great.
Being open-minded
Communication has everything to do with openness. Both in body posture and mentally. Are you open to other beliefs and perspectives? In other words, are you receptive to the experience of the other?
When you always judge the other person’s view, it creates a wall between you and the other. It creates a distance in communication rather than that it creates connection. This is where its effectiveness is lost. Stubbornness leads others to avoid you rather than communicate with you. After all, you are not open to a different view and the other person can do nothing with it. Above all, it is important that the listener must always have the feeling that there is a chance for him or her to convince you of his point of view.
Open yourself by playing with other people’s thoughts. Whether you will take over the view of the other person does not matter. Being open-minded is not only crucial in your communication with others, but it is also a big boost for yourself. There is room for perhaps new insights and you can form your idea that can be of use to you.
Not always will you be convinced by the other, but when you occasionally take a view because you are simply open to it, it enriches your life. Take the attitude of a student who is trying to discover with curiosity whether there is still something to learn than from a teacher who already thinks it knows. Your world will remain smaller if you only have room for your own beliefs and ideas.
Being empathetic
‘You want to know how to give? Instead of the one who receives – Madeleine de Puisieux
Through communication we try to convince each other of our opinion or view and we want to feel understood. Although it feels nice when this works, frustrations can run high when this fails. An effective way to create a good dynamic in communication is to show empathy.
Mirror neurons in the brain help us with that. Mirror neurons provide an instinctive response to an event. For example, when someone bumps their heads against a door of the kitchen cabinet that he had left open, you will automatically contract your face or grab your head. You feel, as it were, partly the pain that the other person feels at that moment. Instead of analyzing how that might feel by consulting yourself if you’ve ever felt it, it immediately fires mirror neurons that will allow you to react immediately as you would react when you’d stumble your head.
Put your own thoughts quiet while the other person wants to convince you of something. Check with yourself if you can find that in his or her situation. Do not immediately accept the other person’s judgment in person. You can empathize with the other person does not mean that you always agree with him or her and may not even at all. You don’t have to. Being able to move into the other means that you can accept that he or she has a different opinion.
What matters is that you are able to understand the other by reflecting in yourself why they might find it. More importantly, the other person also feels that you understand him and that he feels heard. When you can’t move in the other person, this will be noticeable in communication and there is no connection. The other person will be able to think, ‘she really doesn’t understand me, too.’ It makes sense to respond with words and an attitude that reflect a sense of empathy. This may include, ‘I understand how you feel,’ when someone has something moving to say.
Be clear
Not what you meant to say, but how the other has received it is what counts within communication. That is what is apparently communicated. It is therefore necessary to get on one line what you mean (say) and what the listener receives and interprets. Clear communication is not too abstract and wound. Misinterpretation leads to the other person doing different things than what you wanted or that the other person thinks you have certain beliefs that are not true.
Listening to
When you can not listen to the other person well and prefer to speak a lot yourself, you can incur a lot of irritation. Having the ability to listen well is perhaps the most important quality within communication. This is a very large and precious gesture for your relationships. Listening indicates that you think the other person is important enough to be quiet yourself.
Listening to your conversation partner is much more than him or her ‘toy.’ Be an active listener. This involves asking questions to the other. You can tell your own story ten times, where you learn nothing new. Asking questions, on the other hand, gives a new entrance to learn more and enrich your own world.
Listening also works two ways. If you always want to be the talking yourself, your audience will probably feel that you are not interested in the other person. Why would he want to listen to you? You get what you give back: disinterest. If you want to know how someone really is doing, ask me. The appreciation will be great, even though you may be asking questions that someone else cannot and will not give answers to. Well, that’s not you. So don’t put that on you personally.
Finally, it’s. Being able to listen well will be difficult when you are stressed or emotionally overwhelmed. So take some time to calm down before you hear the other person. Indicate how you feel, the other person will understand what is going on and knowing that there is no lack of interest when listening does not work.
A good listener:
- Will give his full attention to the other. His focus is on the other.
- Gives feedback: ,What do you mean by…?, or ,You’re saying this now, but isn’t it so…?,
- Leave his own judgment on the other person’s opinion.
- Has an open posture.
- Show that he listens by responding very briefly with e.g.: ‘uh huh’ or ‘yes’.